Cara Mengidentifikasi Dari Jauh Wanita Yang Kecanduan Seks

Kecanduan seks tidak hanya bisa dialami pria. Wanita pun bisa memiliki masalah serupa. Ada berbagai hal yang bisa menyebabkan hal itu terjadi.

Direktur The Sexual Recovery Institute dan Sexual Disorders Services di Los Angeles, Amerika Serikat, Robert Weiss, menjelaskan tidak banyak wanita yang mau mengakui dan meminta bantuan ketika memiliki masalah kecanduan seks ini. Menurutnya sebagian besar wanita merasa malu.

Keengganan wanita untuk mengakui masalahnya tersebut juga disebabkan karena adanya prasangka bahwa wanita dengan problema tersebut bukan wanita baik-baik. Prejudice inilah yang membuat wanita terus didera rasa malu sehingga enggan untuk minta bantuan ahli. Padahal kenyataannya masalah kecanduan seks ini bukan hanya dialami oleh mereka yang bekerja sebagai pekerja seks. Wanita biasa seperti ibu rumah tangga atau wanita yang pernah mengalami pengalaman seks tidak menyenangkan sehingga membuatnya kecanduan juga bisa memiliki masalah serupa.

Seperti dipaparkan Wise dalam situs psychcentral, wanita-wanita yang enggan meminta bantuan ahli ini biasanya tidak mau mengakui masalah mereka. Wanita tersebut lebih suka menggunakan kalimat seperti ‘aku punya masalah dalam percintaan’ atau ‘aku memilih pasangan yang salah’.

Berdasarkan perkiraan Wise, ada sekitar 8-12% wanita yang mau meminta bantuan untuk mengatasi masalah kecanduan seks ini. Bagi para wanita yang masih ragu dan malu, dijelaskan Wise, mereka bisa menjawab 10 dari 40 pertanyaan di bawah ini. Daftar pertanyaan berikut ini bisa membantu apakah memang seorang wanita kecanduan seks atau tidak. Pertanyaan lengkap bisa dilihat di situs slaafws.org:

1. Apakah Anda merasa hidup Anda sulit diatur karena ketergantungan Anda pada seks?
2. Apakah Anda merasa sulit berhenti atau memutuskan hubungan dengan seseorang padahal Anda tahu orang tersebut bisa membahayakan?
3. Apakah Anda tidak ingin orang lain tahu tentang masalah seksual Anda, termasuk keluarga dan terapis sekalipun?
4. Apakah Anda jadi merasa ‘melayang ketika melakukan aktivitas seks dan kesakitan saat aktivitas itu tak lagi dilakukan?
5. Apakah Anda pernah bercinta di waktu yang tidak tepat, tempat tidak pantas atau dengan orang yang salah?
6. Apakah Anda sudah membuat komitmen terkait masalah seksual Anda tapi ternyata Anda tidak bisa menepatinya?
7. Apakah Anda pernah bercinta dengan orang yang sebenarnya tidak ingin Anda lakukan hubungan tersebut dengannya?
8. Apakah Anda merasa seharusnya ada banyak hal yang bisa Anda lakukan dalam hidup ini seandainya saja Anda tidak dikendalikan oleh seks?
9. Apakah Anda putus asa dalam mencari cinta atau pasangan?
10. Apakah Anda tidak merasa hidup kecuali saat berhubungan seks?
11. Apakah Anda merasa hidup tidak berarti tanpa cinta atau seks? Apakah Anda merasa tidak memiliki identitas ketika tidak bersama orang yang Anda cintai?
12. Apakah Anda pernah tiba-tiba saja merayu seseorang secara seksual padahal sebenarnya tidak bermaksud melakukan hal itu?

Weiss mengatakan, bagi Anda para wanita yang merasa kecanduan seks, jangan takut untuk minta bantuan ahli. Kalau tidak ditangani masalah tersebut bisa semakin parah dan menyebabkan kehidupan Anda rusak dari berbagai sisi mulai karir hingga keluarga.

One Night Stand Mengecewakan Wanita Tetapi Berhubungan Dengan Banyak Pria Lebih Menyenangkan Wanita

HUBUNGAN cinta semalam atau juga dikenal dengan istilah one night stand boleh jadi disukai para pria. Tetapi hal berbeda justru dirasakan para kaum Hawa. Menurut hasil suatu penelitian, kebanyakan perempuan merasa kecewa setelah menjalani hubungan instan tersebut karena sebagaian besar pasangan prianya tidak ingin melakukannya untuk kedua kali dengan mereka.

Seperti yang dipublikasikan dalam jurnal Human Nature, hampir setengah dari responden perempuan yang mengungkap isi hatinya melalui jajak pendapat di internet menyatakan bahwa melakukan hubungan cinta semalam sungguh merupakan suatu kesalahan besar bila mencari hubungan yang berkelanjutan.  Sementara di pihak laki-laki justru sebaliknya. Hampir empat dari lima cowok menyatakan mereka merasa senang dan bahagia menjalani hubungan singkat tersebut.

Para ahli dari Universitas Durham Inggris yang menggelar riset menyimpulkan, hasil jajak pendapat ini membuktikan bahwa tidak ada keuntungan sama sekali bagi wanita untuk melakukan hubungan cinta semalam bila ingin mendapatkan pasangan tetap.

Survei melalui internet ini melibatkan 1.700 partisipan yang pernah melakukan jenis hubungan sejenis ini. Para laki-laki dilaporkan tidak merasa terbebani, tetapi terpuaskan dan tetap percaya diri setelah melakukan hubungan seks tanpa arti tersebut. Sementara itu, perempuan cenderung merasa khawatir dan cemas karena merasa ‘telah dipakai’ sehingga terpukul dan merasa terlecehkan dengan kejadian tersebut, apalagi bila sang pria tidak bisa atau tidak mau dihubungi lagi setelah hubungan tersebut.

Dari survey juga terungkap bahwa kebanyakan alasan mereka untuk melakukan hubungan cinta semalam karena merasa ada peluang atau kemungkinan untuk menjalani hubungan yang lebih lama atau langgeng.

Menurut penjelasan pimpinan riset, Professor Anne Campbell, hasil survey ini merupakan proses dari sebuah evolusi. “Dalam istilah evolusioner, perempuan mendapat ekses buruk dari pengawasan orang tua dan telah diketahui bersama bahwa mereka memperoleh keuntungan karena dapat memilih temannya dengan teliti. Perempuan juga setia karena untuk memastikan bahwa kekasihnya tak punya alasan lain untuk percaya bahwa ia sedang memelihara anak dari laki-laki lain,” ujarnya.

Campbell juga menyatakan adanya manfaat lain hubungan perempuan dan laki-lak bagi keragaman genetik. “Para ahli biologi mengindikasikan, perempuan memperoleh manfaat dari hubungan dengan banyak laki-laki karena hal itu dapat meningkatkan keragaman genetik dari anak-anak mereka. Jika seorang laki-laki berkualitas tinggi tak mau selamanya menjalin hubungan dengan pasangannya, perempuan setidaknya akan mendapat gen yang baik untuk anak-anaknya,” terangnya.

Tips How To Get Girl For One Night Stand

Men love sex, especially when there are no strings attached. And what really makes a player a capital-P Player (CPP) is his ability to secure sex within hours of meeting a woman.

While most of my articles contain at least an element of that goal, I’ve decided to give you a straightforward, step-by-step account of what you have to do to go from complete stranger to knocking boots with a woman in the space of an evening.

These tips may apply at a nightclub or a house party — or anywhere bed-able babes can be found. Allow me to illustrate what I mean with one of my own adventures.

a recent encounter
I recently found myself at an art opening wine and cheese (a great place to prey on chicks, incidentally: free wine, food, and mostly women who like to socialize), and as I was mingling and discussing the art and all sorts of things with both women and men, I spotted a woman who looked ripe for what I, as The Player, often have in mind.

There was a certain elegance to her tanned skin under her spaghetti strap dress — but not so much that she looked like a long-term project rather a possible one-night conquest. More a pretty woman than a photogenic knockout, I could see she had a fun spirit about her as she laughed and chatted with a couple of other ladies.

Grabbing some food at a table beside her, I listened in on their conversation for 30 seconds, then joined in with an opinion opposite to the one she had just expressed to her friends, to get a little tension going. My target, Valerie, who looked about 30, and her two friends welcomed me into their conversation, which continued amiably enough for about five minutes before I excused myself.

That said…

1- Spot your prey
Opt for women who wear little clothing
No, not just because you can better inspect “the goods.” When women ovulate, they often dress provocatively, as they subconsciously want to attract potential mates — the equivalent of animals being in heat. The animalistic element is quite present in the primordial one-night stand process. Use it to your advantage.

Approach experienced women
The older ladies who seem fun-loving are generally more adventurous, and are therefore a good choice.

Hit up women in all combinations
With a group of women, don’t necessarily approach the most attractive one. Instead, use game theory, as Russell Crowe’s John Nash character did in A Beautiful Mind : opt for the second most attractive to increase your chances of success, since she probably doesn’t get hit on as much. This, in turn, might make the alpha female jealous, which could create a bidding war that works to your advantage.

You could always opt for the least attractive woman to optimize your chances, since she probably rarely gets any attention at all when she goes out with her girlfriends. But if you’re a CPP, surely you’ll be setting your sights higher than the ugly duckling.

Note: If you plan on buying your prey a drink, then you should buy one for all her friends as well.

Move in on women who are alone
If she’s alone, on the other hand, you won’t face resistance from her friends. She’s likely to want to talk to interesting fellows who can entertain her.

Remember, even if your pick-up skills are excellent, if you select the wrong woman who’s in a bad mood and/or not into one-night stands, then you have no chance. The possibility of having sex ultimately depends on the woman.

back at the wine & cheese
I left Valerie’s group and headed to the washroom, but when I returned, I didn’t go straight back to them. Instead, I chatted with some other people, including one of the show’s artists, herself a fairly attractive lady. It wasn’t until maybe 20 minutes later that I again found myself near Valerie and her friends.

“You know, you really wronged Valerie here,” said her friend Janet to get my attention. She went on to explain that in making one of Val’s opinions look silly in our first conversation (a Negative Hit), I had drawn unfair conclusions about her friend. From this I knew they had been talking about me and that they had decided, as I had, that Valerie was the one. Sometimes women are very democratic.

I gave a mock, overdone apology, then went on to give Valerie a good-natured hard time while making a point of casually touching her: I firmly grabbed her arm for about two to three seconds only once, while we were both laughing. I mentioned that I was also an artist — a photographer, in fact, which seemed to interest Valerie quite a bit. But as her friends were still hanging around, I again excused myself to talk further with the semi-attractive artist.

Pretty much as soon as I was done with that conversation, Valerie approached me, this time by herself. I had her hooked. Now it was up to me to either reel her in or hit a snag and lose her. Having done this a few times before, I wasn’t too worried.

That said…
2- Pick her up
Make her feel comfortable
This is easier if you’re at a house party, where you’ll have some common ground (you both know someone there). However, don’t smother her.

Be confident
Remain a challenge at all times and be mysterious. If it helps, imagine you’re famous.

Don’t compliment her looks
Rather, compliment her dancing, for example. Use a Negative Hit to throw her off balance.

Say as little as possible
Keep the conversation going, but don’t make it all about you. Remember; those considered the best conversationalists are usually the best listeners — they get others to talk.

Casually find out what you need to
If she lives alone, for example, or if she has to work the next day. Get all the intelligence you can to make sure you put all the chances on your side.
working the mojo
“Your glass is empty,” I said by way of a greeting when she approached. After getting refills, we talked about all sorts of things, but with much more sexual innuendo. This was especially easy when I mentioned I was a photographer (“and what kind of photos do you take, exactly?” she asked).

As things were wrapping up and her friends had left her to it, we got out of there and headed to a bar a few blocks away. She chose some songs on the jukebox and came back to the seats, moving to the music. At this point, I complimented her on how she moved with a whisper in her ear.

She liked that I wanted to dance even though no one else was. That lasted a few songs until someone else’s jukebox choices came on, killed that vibe, and left me with a choice to make.

Get close to her
Dance with her, touch her, lean in and whisper in her ear. Tease her and use sexual innuendoes. Make her understand you’re flirting, and that it’s not strictly a friendly approach.

Imply a potential one-night stand
Don’t come out and say it. Be subtle and let her wonder if it’s really what you’re referring to. Remain mysterious and hard to get.

Act aloof
Make her understand (while also reminding yourself) that you can always get it from someone else. Act as though you don’t care if she doesn’t give you what you want. Above all, don’t seem desperate. Confidence is key.
landing valerie
“I think we’re done with this place,” I said, referring to the bad ’80s music now playing.

“Yeah, I guess so,” said Val, a little hesitantly.

After a 10-second pause (long enough to create suspense, yet not so long as to make it look like I was hesitating), I said, “we should move this party somewhere else. You know, you expressed an interest in photography before, and I’m betting an attractive woman like you wouldn’t mind having a professional take her photo.”

“Oh, that’s what you bet, is it?”

“Yes, it is. Of course, what you’re wearing is far too alluring for the clean, chaste photography I do,” I said with no small hint of irony. “We’d have to cover up those shoulders for starters. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Out on the sidewalk, I pulled her to me and planted a passionate kiss on her. I broke it off and, with my arm around her, said, “let’s go.”

“Where to?”

“To my studio, of course.”

That said…
4- Close the deal
Create some suspense
This gives her a feeling of success when things do keep going forward, rather than making her feel preyed upon. Have fun with things and keep it light.

Give her a physical compliment
This is acceptable only when you’re closing the deal. Make her feel attractive and good about herself, and get her worked up about spending the night with you.

Pick a place
The first choice of venue, if possible, should be her place. She’ll be comfortable in her apartment. Also, you’ll be able to make a clean exit if you don’t feel like sleeping over.

The second choice should be to opt for neutral territory like a motel or hotel.

In third is your pad. In this case, I opted for my place because the interest she showed in my photos earlier was an obvious excuse for her to come over. You’ll often have to keep up the pretense that there are other reasons for the steps you’re taking, as women enjoy such games, and very few like to admit they’re actually on a booty call. To them, that seems crass.

Tip: Have a room at home that you like to show off, as a display for her to see. For example, you can decorate a room with pictures that you’ve taken from around the world. Women love pictures and traveling, and she’ll want to see them. Refer to it as your “Gallery.” This could also be a collection of any sort.

If all else fails, you can always do it in a car, a bathroom, outside…

Anyway, I began taking pictures, then her clothes came off.

ack at my studio…
I began clicking away, getting her to work it as I gradually moved in closer. I teased her with a couple of brief kisses, to “make her lips fuller,” I said, then finally put the camera aside. After a little kissing, I removed her pants and eventually her panties to assume the position (Morning Glory was my signature at that time). After that, she was as eager to please me as I had pleased her. Thinking about that evening now, a very nice picture develops in my mind…

That said…

5- Have sex
Use props
You don’t have to be a photographer like me to make your camera a fun item — especially now with pocket-sized digital and phone cameras available. You can suggest she try out your camera on you first, if she’s reluctant. Make sure you do this before the act of lovemaking, or else it might just be perceived as weird.

Show off your signature move
Use a move you’ve had success with before. This is a great way to live up to your standards.

Satisfy her
Finish the job, and make sure she’s pleased. Remember that if you get along with her and would like to see her again, pleasing her will give her an incentive to hook up again. Good sex can turn into good “regular” sex, and a one-night stand can turn into a booty call. Just as with conversation, a good lover is someone who makes the other person feel great.

For more tips on how to have good sex and an array of “Signature Moves,” consult The Player’s Guide.
later that evening
I told Valerie that I had to be somewhere early the next morning, then suggested we grab a shower before I get her a cab. The shower was a bit of a bonus round. She got dressed, then I suggested she give me her number. I saw her safely into a cab and then enjoyed some well-earned sleep.

That said…
6- Call it a night
Leave it open for next time
Exchange numbers, or simply take her number down. Make sure the ball’s in your court.

Leave without excuses (if you’re at her place)
Simply take a shower, say you enjoyed yourself and leave. You don’t owe her any explanations. Remain mysterious and keep her wondering if you’ll call back.

Get her to leave (if she’s at your place)
Take a shower, with or without her. This will give her a good sign that you’re not leaving as fast as humanly possible.

Then tell her you have to go. You can say you have somewhere to be.

Basically, be genuine but neutral, neither seeming sorry you have to go nor in a rush. The less emotion you display, the less you’ll elicit in her.
that’s a wrap
Obviously there are as many possible one-night stand scenarios as there are male-female combinations — infinite. But in any situation, many of the points I’ve made here will apply.

Now, get out there and get your mojo workin’ — your covered mojo, that is. Remember; the two watchwords for one-night stands are confidence and protection.

One Night Stand

You’re at a social event and you finally gathered enough nerve to approach the longhaired brunette with the buns of steel. To your absolute shock and elation, she actually treated you like a good-natured man and not a salivating monster.

As you begin getting comfortable (as does she), you begin to realize that she may actually be flirting with you. If you didn’t know better, you could swear that this tanned, toned tamale will be running her nails down your back that same night in sheer pleasure and agony.

Which leads me to today’s sex tip: how can you ensure that a one-night stand can garnish you with the reputation of a Don Juan, while making your momentary madam feel like a princess? Follow these little morsels of information and any woman will consider herself lucky to be in your hands (as well as having you present yourself within ).

KEEP IT CLEAN
First and foremost, I recommend that before you go out, you take a very deep cleansing shower and scrub everywhere . Get into all those little nooks and crannies, especially if you want your sidekick to enjoy giving you a tongue-lashing experience. Oh yeah, and try not to sweat up a storm at the club either.

Make sure that your hands are washed, you smell good and for goodness sake, chew some minty gum… it can make a world of difference.

Now, depending on what she’s been up to that night, going downtown to pay her privates a visit is somewhat dicey. If she’s been sweatin’ to the oldies like a wild woman, then I don’t recommend that you open wide for a taste of the gravy train — it won’t be very tantalizing. If you’re at a motel, bring her into the shower with you or better yet, the Jacuzzi. That way you’ll both come out clean and enjoy each other’s bodies enthusiastically.

TAKING HER HOME
If you don’t live alone or worse, you live with your parents, then don’t bring her to your place. She won’t be comfortable no matter how tipsy she is. The whole point of a one-night stand is to ensure a wild evening of passion, rather than having to shush one another the entire way through.

As I mentioned with personal hygiene before, make sure your place is clean and tidy before you leave the house. There’s nothing that can ruin the moment like your lady watching you remove half of your wardrobe off the bed — not exactly a sexual mood enhancer if you know what I mean.

Also, make sure that your favorite music is already in the CD player for easy access. And you should also have alcohol handy in order to make her a drink — and I’m not referring to a brewskie).

IF SEX HAS ALREADY STARTED
If you guys already began your sexual adventure in the car on the way to your place, then screw the music (not literally) and once you open the door to your house, put her up against the wall and kiss her as though she’s water and you’ve been stuck on a desert for 4 years. Women love spontaneity, but don’t begin ravishing her right away.

Foreplay is important even if it may be the last time you ever see her (depending on how good it is, of course). Even if all you want to do is penetrate her into oblivion, remember that this is your chance to be creative and make her delve into kinky aspects of herself that she never knew existed.

SPACE TO LET
Don’t end up crouching on your couch with your elbow cutting off the circulation in her arm. Make sure you’re in a space that is comfortable and roomy so that you can maneuver freely. Places like the bed, a covered floor and even a nice dining room table are adequate. Now you both know that you’re ultimately going to have sex, so I recommend that you delay penetration until she tells you, or rather begs you, to penetrate her.

Kiss her mouth, lick her neck, bite her back, chew her hips, and nibble on her breasts for as long as you can. Don’t completely neglect her vagina, however, instead use your fingers on her clitoris to hit that G-spot that we all love so much. The idea is to treat her body as though it was specifically designed for you. You can lightly outline the silhouette of her body and then hold on to her hips while you lift her up to kiss her tummy. She’ll be begging for it, trust me.

BETTER TO BE SAFE
Now I don’t want to hear any arguments on this one — you must absolutely, positively use protection at all times. Even if she claims she’s on the Pill, you still have to wear a condom because there’s a lot more potential damage available than just a baby.

STDs are horrible and can even lead to death, and no night of passion is worth your funeral. I apologize for my bluntness, but I have to ensure that you understand that although a one-night stand is all about fun, you shouldn’t have to worry about the possible dire consequences the morning after.

THE DOWNFALL
Sex with a stranger can definitely be enticing, if not erotic as hell. But considering that you don’t really know the depth of the person your sharing your sperm with (not mentally at least), you’ll never really know what fulfills her. If she’s a vocal woman who makes specific demands, then I guess I’ll just have to eat my words.

Now, it’s quite likely that she’s aware that this is probably no more than just an orgasmic night of gratification, so you don’t need to say things like, “I hope you know, this means nothing,” or even, “I’ll call you in the morning.” Don’t say anything at all about what it is or where it’s heading; she’s not stupid. If she asks, then be honest, but otherwise, just enjoy the moment.

Considering it’s a one-night thing, why not make it as kinky, crazy and fulfilling as possible — for both you and her? But be careful, because after you use these helpful tips I have provided, what you thought was a one-night stand may turn into 9 Weeks .

Until next time, keep yourself clean and get ready to get dirty.