Increased breathing and heart rate
Listen to the sound of her breathing in your ear: When it starts to get heavier, you’ll know you’re onto something. The change will occur reasonably swiftly when she is about to orgasm, and will be accompanied by a completely unconscious change in the tension, rhythm and pace of her other body movements. Liars and the truthful alike might clutch at you and moan and groan, but her breathing is the missing link. Her thumping heart will also be a sign that it’s for real; if she isn’t actually excited, her heart rate and bodily manner will be very ordinary.
Dilated pupils are another surefire sign that your girl is reaching her peak. This might be hard to tell in the dark, but if the lights are on, all you have to do is ask her to look into your eyes as she climaxes. Chances are she’ll be more than willing to oblige to that romantic request. Just make sure to make note of what her pupils looked like at the beginning of your romp so you can compare their difference in size at the end.
This means both sets: Her mouth lips will go a little redder (lips swell and redden upon arousal), as will her vaginal lips. While you are penetrating one set of lips, try to feel the swelling in the other set of lips that you’re kissing. Be careful though: Kissing will also increase the redness of her lips, so be gentle with pecks so that you can get an accurate reading of her response level.
Vaginal muscle spasms
Muscle spasms are the biggest indicators of all because she cannot fake or hide this. During orgasm, she will have between 3 and 10 vaginal and cervical contractions, the first few being the strongest. They will grip your penis, and the tightening feeling you experience will be impossible to ignore.
Hot, sweaty sex? Yes, please. Breaking out in a sweat means her body is at a high level of tension and her muscles are working overtime — her breathing, heart rate and blood pressure are all up. So, once you both collapse into a sweaty heap afterward, you’ll know she’s been pleased.
Other important signs
* She may arch her back and feet, have uncontrolled twitches in her limbs (during and after orgasm), and have uncontrolled facial expressions (aka her “orgasm face”).
* Check her cheeks and neck to see if they are flushed.
* Of particular importance is what she does immediately after sex: Does she leap right out of bed and get on with her day? Or does she go to the washroom and lock the door? The chemical effect of an orgasm on the body brings a dazed look to the eyes and she may just want to laze for a few minutes to enjoy it. If she is missing this post-coital bliss, be suspicious.
* Her nipples will also harden; it has been estimated that there is a 95% chance that if her nipples aren’t hard, she didn’t orgasm.
* Her clitoris gets very sensitive right after orgasm, so if she doesn’t slow down or stop completely after her orgasm, she is probably a faker.
* Making coherent sentences far too loudly is also a clue to her (dis)honesty; she shouldn’t really be able to say anything much other than “Oh my God!” if the job is getting done to standard. Anything remotely porn-like is highly suspicious (loud over-exaggerated moaning, etc.) because porn sex is not real sex.
If you want to know if she is faking it, try some experiments. Some easy ways to gauge her honesty is to do a thorough investigation. Whatever you do, don’t tell her what you’re doing. If she is faking, this gives her an unfair heads-up about your intentions.
First off, be prepared for the truth. Then be prepared to do something about it if there is a problem. Have a frank and honest discussion with her about your sex life in a nonjudgmental way; she knows what she is doing and if she is a faker, she’s no doubt duly ashamed of herself. She probably won’t admit that she lied, but you can ignore that and just start working on how to give her some real orgasms. Don’t let her fool you anymore — do something constructive about it. It has been proven time and time again that partners who regularly communicate openly and honestly have the best sex. Don’t be the couple who loses out.
Ask her what the sex/stimulation feels like, and ask her to explain what happens to her body when she is having an orgasm. Use normal lie-detecting techniques (body language signals) to see if she is lying. Touching her mouth (covering her lies) and looking away as she speaks to you are some ways to tell. Obviously, these are not set in concrete, but if you ask her directly if she orgasms when you have sex and she looks away and says “Yes, of course, honey!” then further investigation is in order.
Ruin her orgasm
This may seem cruel, but if she is really having one, she will be unhappy with you if you burst her bubble. If she isn’t actually having one or about to have one, nothing will happen and there will be no harm done. It is probably the easiest way to tell; you know her body and her responses, so test her. Make it interactive, and you’ll start getting the responses you want.
The male ego is a fragile thing, so it is important in your investigations to put aside your ego and deal with the facts. If she has constant problems having an orgasm, she doesn’t need accusations; she probably just needs more quality foreplay.
The University of Chicago did a survey (“Sex in America,” 1994) which reported that less than one-third of females always orgasm during sex, compared to three-quarters of men. The survey also found these statistics changed quite significantly when a woman’s partner spent 21 minutes more on foreplay: 9/10 women always orgasmed with more foreplay. This stat says it all.
This situation can be difficult and embarrassing for you both, but it’s certainly not the end of the world — in fact, it’s probably just the beginning. Deal with it in a positive way, and you’ll both get positive results.